why won't the universe just LET ME BE?

[navigatorsnorth]

 So I finally managed to pull myself together over everything else (I managed to eat lunch and everything). And my afternoon was going ok. And I was having, not a good day, but an ok one, not a bad one.

And then.

Whump.

Confirmation that for my birthday in a few weeks I am almost certainly going to get ‘best friend moves interstate and overseas shortly after’. And I’m back to where I started.

Only now I’m crying and I feel worse than ever because I knew this wasa possiblility but I’d managed to put it out of my mind and now it’s happening.

And I just want to scream at the universe WHY. And WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH ME. Because things are either up in the air or people are leaving and soon I will only have two friends left in this town, this city where I grew up.

And I need to leave but I can’t. Even though I’m trying, trying my hardest and tearing off pieces of my soul with each new application and throwing them into the wind.

And maybe I have a chance with the one from last week but I won’t know until the end of August. 

And I’m back at square one and all I want to do is SCREAM but I can only cry.